Just MalanB has moved to Tumblr and will be leaving Blogger in 2017!

It has been a very long time since I posted on Just Malanb. 

I am happy that I was able to express my thoughts on this platform but, to be honest, I found that this blogging platform no longer fits the needs and message that I wish to convey for the Just Malanb brand.

So, with that being said, this will be my final post on blogger for Just Malanb. I will be official deleting this blog on January 1st, 2017, which I think is a fitting day to replace the old with the new. I am happy and sad to say the JustMalanb has moved to http://justmalanb.tumblr.com/

Morning thoughts: finding my #BlackGirlMagic

So yesterday, after watching The Wiz live on NBC and doing a live twitter session on @malanb. I realize that this is a fabulous example of #BlackGirlMagic. There are tons of #BlackGirlMagic moments that occur all the time that are not broadcasted for all to see. This entire television experience gave me inspiration to start my own ventures, business, and overall talent for all to see my #Blackgirlmagic

Thoughts of gratitude : Day 1

I am grateful for my eyes. They allow me to see all the wonders of life. The tragedies and the triumph that this play called life has to show. With each day, I am able to learn and grow v with what I see everyday.

Morning Thoughts: Productivity vs depression

Having depression and anxiety while trying to build a business is gruelling war and lately, I am losing. I am constantly in my own head and surrounded about conflicting emotions that is not productive for my blogs, my new business venture, and my life. I found a great example of how I am feeling. I got this from a group I am a part of and it pretty much sums up how I am feeling. 

This is not a battle I would wish on anyone. Depression and anxiety is like fighting George Foreman. The punches are so powerful, it can knock you out cold. I am just going that I can find the Muhammad Ali inside me so I can win this war. 

Morning Motivation - 11/23/2015

Lesson of the Day: valuing your time

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Theophrastus

Nightly reflections - Poem Edition #1

The silence is deafning
When self doubt walks in
Stepping on hope
Toes
On the
Tipping point of insanity
And sadness
Anxiety
and
Ego
All nonexistence is reality
Still
Leave minds in foggy conditions
Near the habor of thought

Just Malanb - Nightly Reflections (Kind of)

So I was so tired last night that I forgot to write my nightly reflections. The realization  for me to start building my own brand and business is imperative. My work environment is a  petri dish of unhealthy behavior that I need to stay away from.

Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make.

Eckhart Tolle

Just Malanb Nightly reflections - 10/6/2015

Hello all my Just Malanb mavens. I wanted to start something new to Just Malanb called Nightly reflections. It a brief post, poem, or quote that reflects what I learned about myself today. 

My lesson today is about Procrastinating

"The best way to get something done is to begin." 

~Author Unknown

I am finally getting some stuff done. It is not at the pace I would personally like but at least I am knocking a few items off my professional and personal to do list. 

Dealing with Depression: Good Days vs Bad days

Photo by Me! 

Hello Guys! I know it has been a long time. Mostly because I am focusing on Heavy on Fashion more and more everyday. I realized that Just Malanb will most likely become more of my online journal talking about my depression, my weight loss goals, food, and trying to accomplish my goals.

Today, I want to talk about having depression & PTSD and how it is affecting me in my professional and personal life.  Depression is a weird fucked up exhausting disease. It makes you numb and tired. It is paralyzing from an emotional and physical standpoint. You don't want to do anything despite the fact that you know you should. That obligation to live your life to the fullest is lost in the fog of sadness. 

In few months, my depression has been under control until yesterday. Yesterday was a very bad day. I was scheduled to attend a few events and I couldn't leave my apartment. I was mentally drained.  I was anxious, paranoid, and angry all at the same time with out any reason to be. I am finding it harder these days to rebound from my bad days and launch myself into a good day. I will say that I been more stressed out over life for no reason. Blame that on the Anxiety.

I also have to blame myself. For some reason I allow other people's problems engulf my inner peace and disrupt my world. I realized that with my current mental condition, I can not allow these problems and the people attached to them into my life. I found that mentality it is harder for me not to internalize everything. Internalizing everything leads to bad thoughts (depression), paranoia and constantly having my emotions on high alert, and anxious at the same time. It is a clutter fuckery of emotions.

I also need to do some serious self care again. I have to admit, I been over extending myself to causes and people that where not really worth my time. Only after a month of making a few changes that I finally realize this. Taking time for myself to do something wonderful, positive, productive and enjoyable for myself is now the only thing I can help me to have my good days outweigh my bad days. Dealing with depression is full of good days and bad days. Sometime the light is on and bright. Other days the light is off, it is dark and cold.


So while I am bumping the Kanye West Station on Pandora while writing this, I realized that sometimes I will have Bad days. Bad days will never be great but how else will I know when I am having a good day.

Without those bad days, how else can I improve and be a better Good Day me.

Until Next Time,
Just Be True and You

Just Malanb